Students will need an e-mail account and access to the internet. I have students post their rough draft introductions on the message board. They should post at least three questions that they want to have answered.

Peers should click on individual introductions and respond to two different student's introductions. If students see that two people have already responded to someone's introduction, they should then choose another one that does not have two. Their answers to questions are not to be YES or NO. They are expected to respond in detail and to offer possible suggestions. Students will receive X amount of points for posting their introduction and X amount of points for their two responses. How you choose to incorporate these points into your grading system is up to you. By making the points into a rubric, you will have an easier time judging the quality of responses. For example, 3 excellent; 2 average; 1 poor.

An example of an introduction and two responses are provided to use as examples with your students. The first response restates where in the text the writer has achieved their goals. It is important for peers to restate and point out these specifics because often times this helps the writer continue with their focus. It also helps to put into words what they have attempted so that they can repeat what they have done. This writer may have been aware that their thesis statement is about the romance of Nags Head, but they may have been unaware of how they got there. Many writers can't analyze what they do…they just do it. This helps the writer and the person critiquing! The second response (poor) only tells the writer that he or she has achieved audience, purpose, and thesis but offers no suggestions and doesn't clearly illustrate for the writer where and what they did.

WRITER:

Questions: Does my opening catch your attention? Is my audience and purpose clear? Do I have enough background (generalities) that leads smoothly into my thesis (specific)?

Introduction:

The East Coast is full of many different tourist attractions. One could travel to Williamsburg to follow through our Colonial history, or to Virginia Beach in order to take a walk on the Boardwalk. But, one of the most popular tourist attractions is Nags Head, located in the Outer Banks of North Carolina. One can easily perceive the romance that occurs on the beach and on top of the sand dunes as the sun slowly sinks into the Sound, which separates the Outer Banks from North Carolina. I believe Nags Head to be one of the most romantic places a person could visit.

Response 1:

1) Does my opening catch your attention? Not really. I think you have set up my curiosity a little about what attraction you will discuss, but that's about it. Perhaps a very descriptive, beautiful scene. You do paint a bit of a picture with "the sun slowly sinks into the Sound" but I think if you were to expand that and really be vivid, I would be hooked.

2) Is my audience and purpose clear? I think you are clearly writing to an audience that knows little about this particular area and might want more information, so your audience purpose appears very clear - how the beach at Nags Head is romantic. It seems like you are writing to couples?

3) Do I have enough background (generalities) that leads smoothly into my thesis (specific)? I do like the way you went from the East coast, to Williamsburg & Virginia Beach, to specifically Nags Head. Your movement from general to specific is well done and your focus on Nags Head is narrowed even further to let the reader know that you are focusing on the romantic aspects of the place. What confuses me, however, is that the jumps don't really seem to be connected. What does Williamsburg have to do with the beach in N.C.? Maybe if you picked an area closer to Nags Head and suggested other possible romantic places, but then narrowed it down specifically to the beach at Nags Head it would make more sense. I think you are on the right track (going broad to specific), but just make sure they connect.

Response 2:

This is a great paragraph. Your thesis, audience, and purpose is clear.